What can we expect of our toddlers and preschoolers as they march forward on the developmental trail of childhood? They change so fast in some ways and in other ways we wonder, will he ever get there (read: potty trained and words we can understand). Yes! Most children do go to college completely potty trained, but no guarantees about language we can understand :)
Joking aside, if a child has a serious delay, this can truly be a challenge and a stress for families and it is important to catch delays as early as possible. Knowing where your child is on the developmental map and getting reassurance if you are worried is necessary to being able to parent at your best.
So what should we expect for our little ones in terms of developmental milestones?
My opinion is that there is a wide range of "normal" in terms of reaching milestones.
I'd like to recommend a very helpful book called "Is This a Phase?" by Helen F. Neville. It is a wonderful guide to child development from birth to 6 years. She covers just about everything and has great charts, graphs and descriptions of phases for both children and parents. I have a copy I will bring to our first class along with other parenting books I am fond of. I would like to hear about books others find helpful, too.
We will have time to look at developmental issues more deeply in our classes.
Here are some interesting highlights from Neville's book:
T-3's:
"Toddlers who are 18 months to 2 years live in the present moment...Words and phrases such as soon, later, this afternoon, tomorrow have no meaning. If it isn't now it is never. No wonder toddlers are so impatient and demand everything now".
" Starting around 21 months toddlers begin to figure out that one particular thing follows another..'after Daddy fills my cup, then I can drink' ...They pay close attention to sequence.
Sequence becomes their clock. That's why they get so upset when we do things out of order.
We'd get just as upset if someone kept resetting our clocks"
"Sometime after 2 toddlers will understand in a few minutes...much more easily if they can look at an egg timer or listen to a familiar song...not until 2 1/2 can a child think ahead and want to hurry to the park to ride on the swing...and not until near 3 can toddlers divide the day into before lunch and after lunch or know that tomorrow is sooner than ten years from now".
3-4's:
"Whining is more common at three than at any other year...parents may demonstrate a whiny tone to help children understand and then say 'tell me in your strong voice, I can hear you better that way' ".
"Many three year olds are not in control of their rapidly developing bodies. They may stumble or fall more often...they may avoid activities that look easy to us, feeling less sure of themselves than earlier...they may keep to themselves more. "Don't look at me!" "Don't talk to me!" "Do you love me?"...with reassurance these moments of upset usually pass quickly".
4-5's:
"Your not the boss of me! 4 1/2 years..." "Fours are happy, noisy, bouncy. they have a 'blooming' self confidence and like to show off and brag: I can run faster than anyone...I have more than you"
"They push harder to get their own way, tests limits to learn how the rules work and who is in charge.
They behave worst with the parent they trust, because they believe we love them regardless. They need our patience, not pressure, and rules that are both kindly stated and backed up with consequences".
5's
"Fives are quieter, more secure and dependable...they wait more easily for their turn because they understand time and have more impulse control. They believe in the tooth fairy and other magical beings. Fives notice the world around them..and that they are a part of it..with their wider awareness of the world they now understand that bad things can happen. At 5 1/2 they may need reassurance that they will be cared for..."
Bring your concerns and questions to class! T-3's meet on Tuesday 9/18 from 7-9. And 3-4's and 4-5's meet on Wednesday 9/19 from 7-9PM.
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