Transitions and the Brain

It is that time of year when the start of new activities for toddlers and preschoolers can lead to separation and transition challenges for both children and parents.  Perhaps your child is starting preschool for the first time, or returning to a new teacher or class.  For some children a sibling is starting full day kindergarten, or the summer schedule changing means friends are going to different activities and they will be seen less often.  Parents are out of vacation mode and schedules become less flexible :(

All these scenarios are transitions that require adaptation for all family members.  Some of us are more "adaptable" than others.  Depending on our temperament, we may breeze through these changes or be slower to accept change and need time  to adjust.  Others may be in-between these two reactions as it is so variable.  Even kids who are actively excited about returning to their beloved preschool with have emotions about the changes from summer to fall.

As parents, being aware that some of the changes in our child's behavior may be due to moving from "summer timelessness" to more structured time activities and new experiences can help us to cope and better support our little ones.

Preparing for changes can really help children to cope.  Talking with them about their teacher or preschool in a gentle and light way will help them begin to picture the upcoming change in their mind:  "Do you remember teacher Molly?  We are going to see her again soon.  Do you remember when you made purple play dough at preschool with Chloe?"

For toddlers, pointing to the preschool and remarking "Look! There is the coop!  We will be going there to play soon!" as you drive by or a visit to the playground before school starts can help them understand and feel more familiar with the setting.  The slow start at VMCP  is great for the adjustment to  this big change in schedule and new experiences. 


In his new book, "The Whole Brain Child", Dan Siegel. M.D. talks about engaging the "upstairs and downstairs brain" in our children.  The upstairs brain processes thoughts, images and reasoning, while the downstairs brain houses our emotions (fight or flight reactions).  In children the brain is like a house under construction. the upstairs brain (logic, reasoning, self-control, empathy) is not fully developed until the mid-twenties.  They can get trapped in the downstairs brain of primitive emotions, especially during transitions, and need our help to  think and process change and new experiences. By rehearsing upcoming events through talking or practice visits we are helping our child to adjust to change in a way that is friendly to the "downstairs" emotional brain and supports integration of both the upstairs and downstairs functions of the brain.  We all need both!

Welcome Preschool Parents!

I am so excited to get started as the new Parent Educator for the Vashon Maury Cooperative Preschool!  Since my time in the classroom is going to be monthly rather than weekly as it had been previously, I thought that having a blog could help us keep in touch during the month and be a forum for ideas and support for parents.  Let me know what you think and if you would like to be involved.  Feel free to contribute and ask questions.  I will be replying weekly. 

If you have questions or concerns you would rather not blog about, please call or email me.  I will make my contact information available at our evening orientation in August.

Here are some thoughts to get us started: 
It is wonderful that you will be involved with your children and other parents at preschool.  What a great oppportunity to learn and gather support as well as offer our own wisdom and experience to others.  It takes a village to raise a child and to support parents!  We live in exciting and over-stimulating times and learning to juggle this modern lifestyle is particularly challenging for parents and children.  How can we protect oursleves from becoming over-stressed, over-committed and over-anxious about raising our kids?   How can we enjoy parenting and feel connected to our children when we do not understand their behaviors?   What is "normal" developmentally for our children?  These are some of the topics we can explore together.