Mindfulness

There is a lot of talk about mindfulness in the community of parent education  and psychology.  What is mindfulness and how can it help us as parents and as families?

Rather than assume we all know what this term means, I would like to describe what I think it is and ask if others have experience with mindfulness practices.  

I think mindfulness is a way of focusing on our awareness in such a way that we are able to tune into our thoughts and feelings and make choices as to our response to the world from a calm and peaceful place.  Psychology Today defines mindfulness as, “a state of active, open attention on the present.” 

Psychologists have been able to study how the brain works in more  depth over the past 10

years and have discovered a western explanation of mindfulness that is impacting parenting education and anxiety management profoundly.  Recent evolutions in the practice of mindfulness have shown results such as reducing adverse symptoms of trauma and shortening treatment time in psychotherapy. 

I just love when ancient wisdom meets western medical "discoveries".

I first became aware of this concept some 20 years ago from Thict Nhat Han, a Buddhist monk from Viet Nam who is now well known and respected around the world.  His books are quite popular in the west and many who are not practicing Buddhists are well acquainted with his mindfulness teachings.

Dan Siegel, M.D.  has written and studied the effects of mindfulness practices on our well-being. 
I have included a link to a great article he has written. 

I recommend it if you can possibly find the time!

http://lifespanlearn.info/articles/Siegel-Mindfulness.pdf

Meanwhile...whenever you can, focus on simply being in the moment.  Relax by taking a soft, deep breath and even close your eyes.  With active vibrant young children in our lives this can be hard to do.  But even young children can learn to take a deep breath with us.  A child's time-less way of being in the world can often teach us to slow down and savor the beauty of the present moment.  

 
The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers. – Thich Nhat Hanh

 

Homework Can be Fun!

At our parent meeting last month we talked about some Reflective Parenting principles including the Thinking/Feeling/Doing exercise where we looked at how to step back from intense interactions with our children and reflect rather than react.  The homework we had was to simply watch our child at play in a one-on-one situation for 15-30 minutes and observe their behavior without taking the lead, but joining in at our child's direction.  I am wondering how that is going for those of you who had a chance to do it?

What did you discover about your child and yourself?  Anything interesting?

Some parents have told me that this simple exercise has changed the way they see their child and created a more relaxed interaction when they were able to step out of the the leader/teacher role and let their little one " take charge".  It can be a delightful experience on both ends.  Our children often do not get to lead their play time with us as we are usually trying to teach or influence in some way in order to support them and help them grow.  But they also have minds of their own and it can be fascinating to discover what is going on when we step back a foot or two and let them be our "teacher".