Transitions and the Brain

It is that time of year when the start of new activities for toddlers and preschoolers can lead to separation and transition challenges for both children and parents.  Perhaps your child is starting preschool for the first time, or returning to a new teacher or class.  For some children a sibling is starting full day kindergarten, or the summer schedule changing means friends are going to different activities and they will be seen less often.  Parents are out of vacation mode and schedules become less flexible :(

All these scenarios are transitions that require adaptation for all family members.  Some of us are more "adaptable" than others.  Depending on our temperament, we may breeze through these changes or be slower to accept change and need time  to adjust.  Others may be in-between these two reactions as it is so variable.  Even kids who are actively excited about returning to their beloved preschool with have emotions about the changes from summer to fall.

As parents, being aware that some of the changes in our child's behavior may be due to moving from "summer timelessness" to more structured time activities and new experiences can help us to cope and better support our little ones.

Preparing for changes can really help children to cope.  Talking with them about their teacher or preschool in a gentle and light way will help them begin to picture the upcoming change in their mind:  "Do you remember teacher Molly?  We are going to see her again soon.  Do you remember when you made purple play dough at preschool with Chloe?"

For toddlers, pointing to the preschool and remarking "Look! There is the coop!  We will be going there to play soon!" as you drive by or a visit to the playground before school starts can help them understand and feel more familiar with the setting.  The slow start at VMCP  is great for the adjustment to  this big change in schedule and new experiences. 


In his new book, "The Whole Brain Child", Dan Siegel. M.D. talks about engaging the "upstairs and downstairs brain" in our children.  The upstairs brain processes thoughts, images and reasoning, while the downstairs brain houses our emotions (fight or flight reactions).  In children the brain is like a house under construction. the upstairs brain (logic, reasoning, self-control, empathy) is not fully developed until the mid-twenties.  They can get trapped in the downstairs brain of primitive emotions, especially during transitions, and need our help to  think and process change and new experiences. By rehearsing upcoming events through talking or practice visits we are helping our child to adjust to change in a way that is friendly to the "downstairs" emotional brain and supports integration of both the upstairs and downstairs functions of the brain.  We all need both!